Wednesday, March 7, 2007

The Jefferson Hotel, Richmond, Virginia

I thought the Jefferson Hotel was best known for its bronze alligator sculptures, but I could be wrong. It could be best-known for its halls. Who wouldn't love this? Patterned carpet, break, patterned carpet, break, patterned carpet, break. It's like the visual equivalent of the kid riding his Big Wheel through the abandoned hotel in The Shining. Remember the sound going from marble to carpet to marble to carpet? RRRRRRRRR silence. RRRRRRRRR silence. RRRRRRRRR silence. This is just like that, but for your eyes, only. Oddly, the Jefferson does not mention its halls on its web site. It does say: "The Jefferson comes replete with rich tapestries, antique replica furniture, embellished faux-marble columns, a 70-foot high ceiling with a stained-glass skylight, and a magnificent sweeping staircase hauntingly similar to the one in Gone With the Wind." If your staircase causes nightmares, I wouldn't point that out to potential guests. Here's something else I find irksome about the Jefferson's blurb: The misuse of the word "replete". "Creative" writers often use "replete" as a fancier-sounding synonym for "complete". Sorry. "Replete" means "festooned" or "decorated". Though maybe they do mean the walls are festooned with antique replica furniture and faux-marble columns. What is replica furniture, anyway? Can you have modern replica furniture? Cotemporary replica furniture? It's not real furniture, I guess, just a simulacrum. And, answer this: What are "embellished faux-marble columns"? The faux-marble thing I get. What confuses me is the embellished part. What do you think they're embellished with? Medallions? Bas reliefs? Reflectors? Slippery when wet stickers? Enough already.


Jennifer said...

I practically lived at The Jefferson about 15 years ago when I worked on some land development projects there. I thought it was nice. I do agree about the embellishment thing. It's like "pride of place." I hate that over-used slogan.

Casey said...

I think I like Lost again.