Thursday, April 3, 2008

Four Points by Sheraton Miami Beach

I had a couple nights' stay at the Four Points Miami Beach. It's about 2 miles north of the happening part of town where the Delano is.

The hotel is part of a historical preservation area called MiMo - for Miami Modern. That means whatever renovations the hotel performs must fit with the era. I think this explains why the elevator service was so wanky - there are two elevators plus a service elevator. They're all tiny, and half the non-service elevators weren't functioning, which made the wait excruciatingly long. You could see the broken elevator sulking one floor below the lobby if you looked closely at the elevator doors. And I think they can't build bigger elevators for fear of incurring the wrath of the local do-gooders. As long as you're comfortable smelling burned tourists, you'll be fine.

Anyway, they've attempted to rejuvenate the hotel along its original lines. (By the way, I don't think the lobby conforms to MiMo aesthetics). The halls are pretty ordinary, though they've painted them a kind of frisky green color.

There's a design era tug-of-war with the hall lighting. In this corner, representing the fifties and sixties, this bubble ceiling fixture.

And in the other, the defending champ from some unspecified point in time: the wall fixture.

Since the two style don't seem to agree, I'm not sure which direction the hotel plans to have be its ultimate design statement.

The hallways will not prepare you for the room, which was nice and clean. AND BLUE. One of the walls was like the little photos that accompany dictionary entries - you know, like the one for "snood". It defined blue. (The photo doesn't do it justice, I'm sad to say.)

I must say, this is the first room I've had with a view of a ship container parking lot.

The Four Points has some kind of advertising tie in with Charmin Bathroom tissue. One element is a vinyl sticker near the sink -

The other is a sticker on the toilet paper roll itself.

Maybe the next big ad idea will be to have Lysol sponsor the toilet seat itself.

I do have a question for Mr. & Mrs. Four Points by Sheraton. If your name is Four Points, why does the inlaid compass rose in the lobby have 8 points? Just asking.

Also, how can the 4th floor of the hotel be one floor above the lobby, which is at street level?


Jennifer at Design Hole said...

Why didn't you bring the toilet paper home!? That's quality! :)

Anonymous said...

"Take us for a spin"???

At that point, what's the alternative?

misterarthur said...

Dear Anonymous: I think it's supposed to be cute 'n' clever. I guess the alternative is to hold a straight razor perpendicular to the face of the roll, then slice through the paper until you reach the cardboard tube in the center. Then grab the whole wad and pull off as much as you need. you can leave the rest on the floor or bathroom counter until you need it again.

Nikki said...

How many times did you squeeze? I have to know.

misterarthur said...

I squeezed zero times. While I'm often confused with Mr. Whipple, I only squeeze paper towels.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me said...

I hear the shipping containers are lovely when they're in bloom.