70 Park Avenue Hotel

70 Park Avenue Hotel is a Kimpton property, self-described as a "New York City Boutique Hotel in Midtown Manhattan". I'm not sure what a boutique hotel is any more. I think Ian Schrager started the fad towards fancy, smaller hotels. Now a boutique hotel can be a fancy bigger hotel, like the W in San Francisco. The 70 Park Avenue is of the smaller variety.

It's quite nice 'n' trendy. The rooms have the requisite groovy toiletries. (L'Occitane)

The hallway is a little worrying.



The combination of dark, old and cramped reminded me of the movie 1408, with John Cusak and Samuel L. Jackson. Not a good sign. The out-of-nowhere stairs on the way to my room were interesting. Every time someone comes down the hall with a roller bag, you can hear 7 thumps as they descend.



Then I arrived at my room. It looked as though someone had tried to crowbar the metal door open, which I haven't successfully captured in this picture. Welcome to New York, circa 1985. The utility door isn't very welcoming either, I'd say. The hotel's web site claims the 70 Park Avenue is a "New York boutique hotel that feels like a second home". I'd agree, if your home were a 4th floor walkup in an old building with a cranky super.




The plate on the door holding the lock bolt was unconnected to the door itself, which made closing the door upon departure almost impossible. Fortunately the "engineer" (that's what the guy at the front desk called him) fixed it pronto. I must say, everyone was nice in this hotel. Very nice, indeed. Of course, like all expensive hotels, they charge for internet, dang it. I'm still mystified by the inverse correlation between hotel prices and free internet. Can someone give me a rational explanation of why this might be?

Once you arrive in your room, all worries are cast aside, as you're reminded by the bedspread of the name of your hotel. I know it's a good thing to be proud of your property, but for goodness' sakes, most guests are probably not Alzheimer's patients. I typically don't forget where I'm staying from check in to opening my room door.



There was another peculiarity that I failed to photograph. The toilet paper roll (in this case, easy to find, see prior post) had a sticker on it that encouraged guests to be "green". I'm all for saving the planet, but I will stick my neck out and say that toilet paper rolls are an odd place to flaunt your eco-creds.

n.b.: Be careful if you click on the 70 Park Avenue link. You'll hear a jazzy rip-off of the theme from "The Odd Couple".