Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The Hilton Garden Inn Hotel, Annapolis/now with warning

I can find almost nothing to kvetch about when it comes to the Hilton Garden Inn Hotel. Well, the name is kind of redundant, isn't it? Why not really stretch: It already has four words, why stop there? "The Hilton Garden Inn Hotel Caravanserai Imaret Auberge Crib" has a nice ring to it, and Crib will appeal to all those gangsta kids from the suburbs whose parents are taking them to see Historic Annapolis.

There is, unfortunately, no garden to speak of - or at least none that I could find. A colleague pointed at a chunk of lawn and thought it might be the garden, but I think it was more of a verge. Anyway, this Inn Hotel just opened in June 2007, so it's very clean and lovely. Free coffee in the lobby, free internet (hooray), nice people, and nicely lit halls.

It also features the 21st Century equivalent of the old hide-the-vomit carpet pattern. Tres mod, n'est-ce pas?

Then the interior designer's "I must have it my way" hissy fit strikes. Here are two photos of the bathroom. It's quite nice, and being new, is shiny and tidy. A quiz for you Hotel Hallway readers: What can't you find in this bathroom?

Answer: The toilet paper. Toilet paper, I'm sure you'll agree, is one of the few musts in a bathroom. Oh it's there, just cleverly hidden so you can't easily locate it, even when you need it most, if you know what I mean. Rather than make you keep looking for it, I'll tell you: It's UNDER the sink counter. Now that you know where to look for it, you still won't be able to find it.

Finally, there's a mysterious poster in the elevator. (By the way, this is an official Hilton poster, not some rogue poster made up by the management of this particular Hotel Inn.)

Why on earth would a company try to make its guests feel welcome by asking rude questions? "I'm going to meet some friends, thanks, but frankly, it's none of your business."

UPDATE: A colleague just stayed at the Hilton Garden Inn, and her stay was marred by an uninterrupted series of woes, including a plugged (by a prior guest) toilet. Maybe I hit a good weekend. Maybe she hit a bad one. Whichever Garden Inn Hotel experience you can expect appears to be somewhat random. I warned you.


Jennifer at Design Hole said...

Misterarthur, I'll let you in on a little secret. We designers conducted a global study, authorized by Al Gore. We discovered that if we hid the toilet paper 55% of guests wouldn't bother with it, thus saving lots of land-fill space.

In yet another study, we concluded that hotels could save, on average, $1,567,468 per year by hiding the toilet paper. The reason? The maid doesn't have to waste her time folding the end into a little triangle.

Don't tell anyone!

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