Tuesday, May 1, 2007

The Sheraton Crystal City

Welcome to Washington, D.C. It needs lots of hotel rooms for all those people hungering after government lucre. The hotels can't fit in the city proper, so many of them are congregated in Crystal City, Virginia. Crystal City isn't a city, by the way, it's an "unincorporated area". I guess Sheraton Unincorporated Area doesn't summon up the kind of luxury images that would get you cough up the steep rates the hotel charges. But anyway, I had a reservation and when I got the to the hotel, I was was pleasantly surpised by being given a room on the CLUB LEVEL.

You know this is a good, luxury thing, because of the giant script "L". If it had been in the same font & size as the c,l,u,b and e,v,e,l, it wouldn't be as nice. Here's the weird thing. I couldn't find anything that distinguishes the Club Level from the non Club Level. Nothing looked, felt, or smelled like a Club Level. I don't think this nice strip of Duct Tape (r) (PHOTO ONE) makes it club level-ish. Nor do the dual holes in the carpet(PHOTO TWO). Maybe the ice machine is what gives the club level its special achievement of clubness (PHOTO THREE).

There was an interesting sign on the exit door, which I think was either a sad commentary on the hotel's expected popularity or it was written by a recent graduate of an English as a Second Language course. I see that this door cannot be re-entered by the guest. (Why didn't they just go ahead and capitalize "be" along with every other word?)

But here's a cheery note. I think I've spotted a design trend. The Sheraton Unincorporated Area/Crystal City has The Same Pattern Interruptus carpet scheme as the Doubletree in Santa Monica. (See Prior Post). Was this some kind of hotel interior design trend from 1989? Patterned carpet, strip of brown, patterned carpet. Who thought this looked good? (The stringy thing is carpet backing)

For a grand finale, The Sheraton Crystal City (or Sheraton CC as us insiders call it) has a very mysterious elevator button. Maybe you can tell me what it really means. My guess is that it means you should push it when you realize help is on the way, but not before.


design hole said...

You misunderstood the meaning of the word Club. It means when you stay on that floor you'll leave feeling as if you've been clubbed.

Jennifer said...

I think the Vice President in charge of Signage felt she'd overstepped her boundaries by using an over-large L, so she had to make up for it with the lower case B.