Friday, June 1, 2007

Hyatt Monterey "Spa and Resort"

Why you should read the website before you book a room.

Exhibit #1: The Hyatt Regency Monterey.

The Hyatt Monterey is one of those flat hotels. One building for checking in, many other low (3-story) buildings placed decoratively around it. It's one of those hotels where you park your car, then drag your luggage into reception, where you are then shown a map to locate your room number, which is in a building 1/4 of a mile away. Then you drag your luggage back to the car and drive to your room. These hotels always have a herd of extended-length golf carts parked, driverless, around the grounds.

But anyway, here's what I didn't read before I left.

"There are big plans afoot for renovating the Hyatt in Monterey: "We are very excited to announce the commencement of our $45 million renovation project. The new Hyatt Regency Monterey – the only hotel in the city of Monterey located adjacent to a golf course - will remain the largest hotel between the San Francisco Bay area and Los Angeles, and will feature a stunning new full-service spa and world-class amenities for our guests’ enjoyment."

Thanks. I love big plans, especially when they're afoot.

Please note the tense. Will, will, will. Not is, is, is.

It's actually kind of grim. Dank, in a near the ocean kind of way. Unhelpful signage. I was in building #9. To get to my room, I had to actually go to building #10 to get to the elevator that served both buildings. The carpet had the biggest hide-the-vomit pattern I've seen in a while. (Sorry I didn't put my feet in the photo for reference purposes).

Then there's this odd emergency exit information. Like most hotels, it has a map that shows a handy "You are here" red dot, plus where to find the emergency exit and stairs. Unlike most places I've stayed, it also provides the location of the ice machine(s). I don't know why you'd need to know the location of the ice machines in an emergency. Maybe it's for super-nervous people who need a slug of gin before they can tackle walking down three flights of stairs. I'm not sure.


design hole said...

Did you ever stop to think that the ice could be used to PUT OUT THE FIRE!??!? DUH!

misterarthur said...

Oh, that's a great idea. One cube at a time. That'll do a lot of good.

Davezilla said...

Gotta love those big, red "You are lost here" dots.

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untidy obsessor said...

Maybe the ice machines could work as a sort of landmark in case you were lost?
For people who plot their pathways with ice machines as their reference point, of course; "What's with all the smoke? Oh, there's that ice machine I passed earlier. Now I know where I'm going. The stairs must be northwest of here."